Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
