people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
