wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
