she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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