I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
