soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
