I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
