Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
