Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
