Pappa wants mamma naked
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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