also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
