One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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