No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
