O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
