if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize