If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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