I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
