Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
