He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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