are you still at the devil's house?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
