Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
