I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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