Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
