I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
