We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
