Your tits are I can't wait for
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
