Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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