The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
