why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
