Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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