He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
