K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
