Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
