So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
