that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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