I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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