Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
