I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
