I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you win again, gameday.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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