okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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