on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
