He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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