Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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