just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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