He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
