In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
kristin has been a bad kristin
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
