This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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