you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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