i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
