If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
