It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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