I like my sex mixed with concussions.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
